Awesome: So there's this really big intersection pretty close to my house here that I have to cross every day to get to work. The intersection is busiest around 8pm when everyone is getting off work, and is also the time I usually get off work. Anyway, when it's around 8pm and I am walking home and I get to that intersection, it's always packed with people waiting for the light to turn green so that they can cross. And when I say packed, I mean PACKED, like if I'm at the front-center of the crowd, there'll be people 10 yards to my left and 10 years to my right, and 10-15 people deep behind me, all packed into this small space like sardines. When the light finally turns green and everyone starts walking forward, you also see the people on the OTHER side of the intersection walking towards you, and it feels like a slow-motion version of a battle scene in Braveheart or something, where the two opposing armies start charging each other on the battlefield, and eventually the two sides meet/collide in the middle and all hell breaks loose, kind of like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwW_y2TuW58&NR=1
When I get to that intersection at night, I like to make my way towards the front so I can feel like I'm on the frontline and really "part of the action," and it just generally feels really badass like I'm about to stab a sword into someone and then lick the blood off or something. Sometimes I'll get too into it and unknowingly start shouting a battle cry at the top of my lungs, but it's usually alright because I like to leave my Glock tucked inside the front of my belt/pants in plain sight for everyone to see, so people usually don't bother me or ask me why I just roared at the top of my lungs like a man in prison getting "broken in" by his 6'4" 260 pound cellmate named Bubba on his first night in the joint.

Blows: So there's this 18-year-old girl in Korea named Kim Yu-Na who is a professional figure skater, one of the best in the world (currently ranked third in the world).  She's been on a roll lately, basically winning every tournament she enters. Anytime she wins a tournament, it's all over the front pages of the Korean newspapers the next morning. She is one of the most highly recognized athletes and one of the most adored media figures in South Korea. She's called "Our Little Sister" (translated from Korean) because she's the nation's darling/sweetheart. She's definitely pretty for a female athlete and she is very representatively "Korean-looking."

Anyway, the reason Kim Yu-Na pisses me off is not because of Kim Yu-Na herself or anything she has done. In fact, everyone in Korea is in love with her and tunes in to watch anytime she is competing, and it's hard not to like her. No, the reason she PISSES me off is that now all of a sudden, everyone in Korea and their grandmother is suddenly an expert on figure skating and has to make absurd pseudoknowledgable figure skating commentary anytime she's on TV.

They'll say shit like, "Yeah, she really has trouble with those catch-foot spirals" or "Wow, what a beautiful double-axel!" Ridiculous. I've watched a few of Kim Yu-Na's competitions when other people were watching, and yeah shes seems pretty good at that figure skating stuff, but honestly how would I know? I can't tell the difference between ANY two professional figure skaters' performances (assuming neither of them fell down). Plus I refuse to follow any sport where the winner is determined by human judges, but that's another story. Either way, I've watched figure skating a few times before in my life just because it happened to be on TV, but just because Kim Yu-Na is on TV all the time nowadays doesn't mean I'm suddenly gonna become an expert, and this is also true for EVERY OTHER KOREAN PERSON ON THE KOREAN PENINSULA. You've never watched figure skating before, and you've only started to occasionally watch figure skating in the past year, so STOP SPOUTING IGNORANT SHIT FROM YOUR MOUTH LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. I'm fine if people say things like, "Wow she looks so graceful," or "Wow she has so much charisma and style when she skates." Those are things that are observable and able to be subjectively judged by the everyday person/layman. But when people start having conversations with each other saying shit like "Did you see Kim Yuh-Na the other day? She really needs to work on that camel spin of hers if she's going to medal at her next event" ...it just drives me apeshit insane. You know what YOU need to work on, you douche? Fucking yourself.